Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One

Selecting a Software Bridegroom



A conversation about the process of selecting a software bridegroom.... Enjoy reading..

Vidhya: hey! what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?
 
Nithya : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for
a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has
come.. in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don't know which one to select, I
am confused because of it.

Vidhya: what is the confusion about?

Nithya: horoscopes of many software engineers have come.
That's why I don't know whom I must select among this. You are a
software engineer na pls give me some suggestion.

vidhya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one
holds.

nithya: first is a "manager".

vidhya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always.
But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask
you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton
and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can't
make it, he'll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night
to prepare it. He will also tell he'll provide you with the night cab.
Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day
and night he will not accept.

nithya: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a "test engineer".

vidhya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he
will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise
him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have
salt in it. If you ask him "will you not at least tell that it is good",
he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I
tell that. He is sooo good ...

Nithya: then a NO to him also. Next is the "performance test engineer".

vidhya: he is another specimen.. even if everything is good, he will ask
why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee,
he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which
can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the
instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not
accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think
about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!

Nithya: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Vidhya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They
are called the developers group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.


Nithya: then tell about them.

Vidhya: you don't have to do anything. They will do everything
themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the
problem with them is- they will say "I know it" whatever you ask them.
Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the
condition is you must keep saying "you are too good" after hitting them
every time.

Nithya: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom....

"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"

Respect HER

To all the guys who read this…..please read fully
and understand…………..
To all the girls who read this……….... An excellent forward……please read fully..... and forward to
the boys you know……….
This is a beautiful article:
T he woman in your life...very well expressed...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry herwith these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while whendeadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

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Most important part of the Body

My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is.
Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer.

When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, 'My ears, Mommy.'

She said, 'No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.'

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.

So this time I told her, 'Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.'

She looked at me and told me, 'You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.'

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years,
Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, 'No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.'

Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the
second time I saw him cry.

My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather. She asked me, 'Do you know the most important body part
yet, my dear?' I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me..
She saw the confusion on my face and told me, 'This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why.

But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.'

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, 'My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.'

I asked, 'Is it because it holds up my head?'

She replied, 'No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.'

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one.
It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did . But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.

The origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings a blessing to everyone who passes it on. Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you always know they are there.

Farewell for my friend

I could easily foretell
You had something to tell
As you dropped a stinking bombshell
Farewell, farewell my friend
With words I spell
It all out in a nutshell

Farewell, farewell my friend
What else can I say?
When you take off today for good
Farewell I say with a broken mood
Farewell there goes my wedding bell
Farewell there goes your innocent smell
Farewell there goes our fun in and out of hotels
Farewell I hope that life treats you well

Farewell in your ventures
Our spent time is my treasure
Your heart must wander to where it belongs
Friend, I only urge you to be strong
With love you can simply do no wrong
I say it with these words tipping off my tongue

Farewell, farewell my friend
I am a great believer
Farewell is not forever
I say not goodbye
I do not wish to sit and cry

Farewell, farewell my friend
What else can I say?
You weren’t meant to stay
I will do nothing to detain
You from flying on that plane

Farewell, farewell my friend
I say with pain
Farewell, farewell my friend
In sunshine or in rain
One day, one day
I know we’ll see again

Farewell, farewell my friend
I cannot stand and pretend
That a part me
With you, would still like to be!

Human brain analysis

Women - Multiple process

Women's brain is designed to concentrate multiple tasks at a time Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.

Men - Single Process

Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time . Men cannot watch a TV and talk over the phone at the same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk overthe phone or cook.

LANGUAGE.

Women can easily learn many languages . Her brain sets up. But cannot find the solutions to problems.
Men cannot easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
A 3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than a 3 year old boy.

ANALYTICAL SKILL

Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process . So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process.
He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she cannot understand it. She cannot understand the details of the map easily.
For her it is dump of lines in a paper.

CAR DRIVING.

While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object's (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and drive accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction/ speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving.
You can often watch, while men driving the car fast, the women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." ..etc..

LIE

Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they get caught easily .
Her super natural brain observes the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words coming from the mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lying.
Men's brain does not have this.
Women easily lie to men face to face .
So guys, While lying to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket..

PROBLEM.

End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and puts the problems in individual rooms in the brain and then finds the solution one by one.
You can see many guys looking at the sky for a long time. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.
End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problem being solved or not.

WANTS

Men want STATUS, SUCCESS , solutions, big process... etc
Women want RELATIONSHIP , friends, family...etc...

UNHAPPY

If women are unhappy with their relations, they can not concentrate on work.
If menare unhappy with their work, they can not concentrate on the relations..

MAP

Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this.
While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to tea shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat with out problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain.
Women can't do this. They often lose their way to their seat.

LIFE

Life is very easy to Men. One good job,( One alcohol bottle is enough for them - Optional )
Women want everything in life.

SPEECH

Women use indirect languages in speech.
Merlin asked Sam, "Sam do you like to have a cup of coffee?"
This means, Merlin wants a cup of coffee.

Men use direct language. "Merlin, I want to have a cup of coffee, Pls stop the car when you see a coffee shop".

HANDLING EMOTION

Women talk a lot without thinking.
Men act a lot with out thinking.
That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world.

How to Marry the Right Person

              Finding Miss or Mr. Right is not always an easy thing to do. Once you think you've found the right person, you may have doubts. Having doubts about who you are marrying is not only normal, having doubts is healthy.
              Hopefully you already know that you shouldn't marry someone who drinks too much, spends too much, works too much, brags too much, uses drugs or other illegal behavior, or is unfaithful, cruel, or dishonest.        

Happiness and Emotional Support

 

Although expecting a spouse to make you feel happy all the time is unreasonable, being with the right person can bring happiness and a sense of personal strength to your life.

• You will know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth both emotionally and intellectually. The right person will want you to be emotionally healthy and able to stand on your own two feet. When you are with the right person you will feel good about yourself, safe, and fulfilled.
  
• The right person will not be negative, selfish, wishy washy, silent, embarrassing, critical, or a slob. Why spend your life with a jerk? 
• You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse says "I love you" not only in words spoken, but by loving actions. We define loving actions as doing things such as noticing when you are tired, remembering your birthday, wanting to spend time with you, listening to you, showing you respect, calling if you are running late, showing you affection, being patient with you if you don't understand something, kissing you hello and goodbye, and hugging you for no special reason. 
• The right person is someone who you like and who is your friend. The right person will enjoy spending time with you.Your love and your marriage will slowly fade if the two of you are not friends
• .Having different likes and different opinions is okay as long as the two of you agree to disagree. Although you may not always agree with one another.
•  Understanding that the only constant in life is change, the right person is willing to discuss marriage issues, questions, and topics with you both before and after you get married.  
• The right person will encourage you to make decisions to live a healthy lifestyle by eating healthier foods and getting exercise. The right person will want to work with you to balance your work and personal lives.
• Feeling as if you are the only one picking things up around the house or taking care of the kids can get old. The right person is willing to share in the responsibilities of your home and future children.
• The right person will trust you,share with you and not monitor you,.
• You shouldn't have to defend wanting privacy or time alone. You will know you are marrying the right person when you are not questioned about your need for time alone or personal space. 

ONE BEDROOM FLAT…

A Bitter Reality WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald’s and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India… But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not go to India … The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children’s dislike and my wife’s joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA…

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India… My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA… I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India… I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes

I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India,

Had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question

still

remains ‘was all this worth it?’

I am still searching for an answer……………..!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON’T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..

START LIVING IT …….

LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE …….